MInTD's world

Back again after so so long...

2007-12-09T16:21:00.000+08:00

It's been more than a year since my last entry.
So much's changed since then...
Now I'm married and with a Baby in me.. hee

Married life is still not much diff I guess.. but pregnant life is really quite a bore....

Restrictions on food and places to go.. worried abt ppl knocking into me...

But life's really sweet.. abit boring.. but really really sweet...

My son's name is Leonidas, Tan Le Tian.
He's really cute from the ultrascan... I'm going to see his latest scan tmr... not sure if too much scanning is bad... but being able to see what he looks like is really fun and exciting...

He is a real adventurous baby.... been thru RCIA, my wedding and my honeymoon with me and his daddy...
He is also a really curious baby... always kicking me when there are sounds out of the ordinary... like machine gun sound... hee...

He's also already been to Egypt for my honeymoon.. he is one fortunate baby...
I'd upload some Egypt and wedding photos when I get the chance....

I just got my new laptop yesterday... finally can be active online again... figured that if i cannot travel ard outside, I can at least travel freely online.. =)

I'll continue another day.... =) Lots Lots of chance...

SATURDAY FEVER

2006-08-13T00:40:00.000+08:00

It's Saturday again... suppose to go runnning this morning but not feeling well so had to gif it a miss... haven't exercise for some time....

Then I went KTV... fun fun fun!!!! SAng like I've not done for some time... hee.. really sang my hearts out.
Wish I can do this more often.. but this is really quite ex.
Maybe should buy some songs home to sing.. hmm...

Anyway, I've just bought FIR's latest album.. happi!!!!

Was trying to see the fireworks juz now... but really hard to catch it esp when one's in the car and the road's super jammed....
Fireworks are really nice but too much is disgusting...
I'm amazed at the number of singaporeans flowing to esplanade to watch the fireworks like they never see before....
Well its romantic and nice if a couple (alone) on a wide field watches the fireworks. and it is juz plain irritation when there are millions of couples and families watching together...
hmm.... maybe fireworks are one of the things that really once is enough.....
(Well in that case, I'll assume that it is the 1st time millions of Singaporeans watch fireworks....)
Now at Lan gaming center.... just lost a game.. boring.. =P
I'm really lousy... muz improve else this game is really boring...

Picture time!!!!

2006-08-07T22:58:00.000+08:00

It's been sometime since I last post photos...
well, really troublesome and really no nice photo ard....
but what the.......
It's me after all... so welcome to the Narcisstic World of Me..... (and some dear frens as well of coz.. hee...)

Hiao me.... haha... well, makeover is a MAKEOVER, I muz look different rite??

This is the real me... I like this morrrrre..... =)

Personal makeover... DIY... act cute me....

Up next.... Furry me.....

Dwarf Hamster... hee... looks cut eh..?? Not at all... they bite and pee on you...

Up next... me in the sunny SENTOSA!!!! Fave place in SG.... =) (after one Other than one place... heee....)

Wow, I've really shrink my pics real small..... next bigger pics expected....

Now the next pic is me as a man.....

yap, I'll be a cute man... I know.. alittle fat but yah cute... hahaha....

Next is me..... erm... well juz me..... =)

Clubbin me....

Next entry will be Duets..... =)
Oh oh before I end this I'd like to thank the cute man, the hamsters and the baby in my next pic for lending me their pic... =)

Larissa.... cutey pie.... Not mine tho =P

Evening Time... Life of An Octopus....

2006-08-07T16:52:00.000+08:00

Oh Well, no need to think already, Fatty boy is going for games...
No need to go meet him.. can rest and wash my clothes at home... =P (HATE TO WASH CLOTHES)

Maybe tonite can upload more pics here and maybe change the background of my blog.. I tink it's not really nice for photos... too messy....

So pinkish oso... very un-me.....

Work is fine if it is not so boring...
Work is fine if I can sing at the same time...
Work is fine if I can dance at any time....
Work is fine if I can have more free time....
Work is fine if I can see Fatty boy all the time... haha!
Work is fine if I can watch TV during primetime....
Work is fine if I can juz love my work... sighzzzz........

Gotta chase bus!!!!

I'm an OctoPus

2006-08-07T10:38:00.000+08:00

I'm turning into an Octopus....
Many hand to do many many more things...

National day is coming... interesting time of the year....
halfway through the year.....

Do you always find things that can remind you of things???
Memories once created in my mind, hardly disappears....
It is also wonderful how every small memory in my mind actually resulted in what and where I am today.

Many things in life if you think about it, they are actually blessings in disguise..
Just like....
How the lost of one person leads to the discovery of another person who loves you more.. =)
How failures can make one learn more and become a better person,
Some one once told me that everything happens for a reason, cannot agree more...

Hmm.. today's thoughts seems to be in bits and pieces... maybe that's my current state of mind...
I should be working now.. yet i juz feel like writing.. maybe the weekend drama serial marathon have gotten into me...
It was a supposedly mystery/police/action/Sci-fi kind of show, yet I've to admit I shed more tears for this show than for any Taiwanese/Korean/Japanese romantic drama... unbelieveable!!!!!

The portrayal of love in this show is really comprehensive... The love between a married couple, between siblings, father/son, mother/son, between 2 enemies, between two lovers, there are even fact love and silly one sided love(and how it ended so so well...)....

There are so many many things that I'd like to do, but I dun seem to be doing them... am I really growing old and lazy??
Will I turn into a fat old lazy women(Grumpy??)??? HOPE NOT!

Next Wednesday going to Full Moon Celebration for Sheila's baby!! So happy for her!!
Baby's really very very cute... hmm.. but cry really loud.. some sacrifice some how..

Thinking of so many things at one time.. I'm really an Octopus.... Sigh..... With really big head one...

Should I meet Fatty Boy tonite?
Met him so much... will he be bored and sick?? hmm.. hope not...
My phone is w him.. forgot to bring home yesterday...
Shld I meet him, I meet him, I meet him not, I meet him, I meet him not...... =P

Mint_D's World

2006-06-03T14:00:00.000+08:00

My title reads Mint_D's World,

From the state of this blog, I tink my world is really a boring one...

Everyday looking forward to a weekend, yet during the weekend there seems nothing to look forward to.... Meeting up with frens would be good if there are things to share, gossips to update.. yet there seems none.... can anybody's life be as peaceful as mine??? Esp in SG???

My problem is life is too peaceful... need to inject some life.. need to go somewhere different.. Africa? CHina?(Heard there are horrible toilets there) States?? India?? Think Europe is really nice... but no chance to be there... maybe should use all my leave on a trip to somewhere... backpacking should be affordable... maybe can back pack from Tuas to Changi??? =P

On Thursday, Eileen fell and hurt her arms.. wonder how she is now, haven't seen her since her áccident'.. Well she have her hunnie to take care of her, no worries.... Jasmine seems a little bored yet she still manages to go out every weekend... guess having a group of all single frens is really good... I told her to cherish this...

My greatest love, Music, is slipping out of my life... my singing is getting worse and I've no incentive to improve... think i am getting too lazy to do anything..... back to my 1st pt, time to get a life... I've just signed up for salsa course (Basics again), hopefully can bring back something.. wish that Joe would go with me.. but I know he wun like.. =O

I went to a makeover passport photo taking.... the results?? Too much photoshop... haiz... I'll attach the photo here when I get the chance....

Okie gotta go and edit my previous post... someone complain my photo too big...( Tt's true)

After Lunch Today

2006-04-05T12:19:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. Lunch time is ok... ate at the canteen as usual.. now zzzpy....
Okie some b-dae pics....

My Family at the KTV celebration.. Joey was here but it's too late.. so she concuss liao.....

My sisters I tink they got too high on the cake,

Hee.....

All who attend.... camera woman is Eileen...

Me and Darling at the KTV.... hmm.. i look so fat... =O

We look happy here... maybe we are hungry

Fatty Boy celebrated my b-dae 3 times tis year.... HAPPIIIIII....... =)
This KTV is the 2nd time and the 3rd time is on the actual day with some nice dinner and view from Mt Faber.....

I really love the presents he gave me, almost more than him.... hahaa.... =P

Post B-dae diary

2006-04-04T11:13:00.000+08:00

Still haven't made the effort to post photo.. will try to sneak some time later...
Work is so boring.. see I'm talking to myself over here....

Over the weekend watched the movie, "Man on the Moon"
Except for a man whose face looks like a moon,(and who behaves like he is from the Moon) there's no moon to be seen in the show. However, it is a really nice show of how human differs.... and how television and entertainment can have a great effect on the audience and on the entertainer.

My comp acting on me today... tink time to shut it down to let it have some rest.

I feel that I am not excelling in my work and am feeling quite useless....
I juz do not know how I can excel and seriously, I've no incentive to... my interest is not here and it is really hard to do well.. the most I can do is do my part... I'll try to be creative and excel...(My personal opinion)
Moreover, so much controls and restrictions... really hard to be creative. the only time I'm being creative is when I have to work around the controls.
Man do i have alot to complain......

Happy Birthday To Me!!!!!!!!

2006-03-30T17:24:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to Me!!!!!
I really had a wonderful b-dae.....
The Kick off is a KTV session on Friday w some frens...
Before that, the tenderloin was yummy yummy.... miss it... will definitely return for it.
KTV session was fun fun fun.. sang so much.. haven't sang for so so long...

Tuesday, one day b4 b-dae, I went ktv w my parents for the 1st time in dunno how many yrs... also the 1st time that my whole family is out for so long together! Mummy and Daddy all there! So SO happy... will post some photos here some day....
Joseph is there too.. with Danson... and they talked... so so glad.. =)
Then my Dad gave me this nice Addidas bag and my Mum gave me a colorful gems earring.... looks real yummy!

On the morning of my birthday
It's raining out there now.. dunno how to go home.. =(

It's a boring SunDaY!!!!!!

2006-02-12T12:54:00.000+08:00

Sunday is boring.. nothing much for me to do.... wanna go out but look at the weather!
Shopping centers will be crowded (And I want to prevent myself from buying too much) =P

Valentine's coming.. maybe I should start thinking what I can get for him?
Dun tink he really appreciate it (as most guys also tink that V-day is a day commercialised to earn money out of the rich guys who want gals to know they are rich.), but it's a good chance to show I appreciate him. Commercialisation(?) of this day leads to it's downfall but I tink actually it's a good day(esp for our Asian culture) to show Love and Concern explicitly.

Take the chance to telll our friends we love them and tell our parents and our crush....(Tho I'm not doing that.. too bz w I dunno what... =P)

Time to get a Life...
I lost my phone and all my contact... so sad...
I cannot find most ppl I wanna find...
So friends if you see this blog, do drop me a msg w your name so tt I can add you to my phone contact list.. I promise not to lost my phone again....

I'm so bored.. dunno what I'm saying.. maybe I'll go find some movie to watch...

Friday the 13th

2006-01-13T08:54:00.000+08:00

Now it's early morning...
Haven't checked but hope my last blg gets published...
Yesterday was the best day of the week..
Hope Today, Friday the 13th will be even better....
Well... I din miss the bus nor go up the wrong escalator... so far so good...
I'm just terribly bored and Feel Like Going KTV...
Should stop listening to my MP3.....
Hope my SIM card come soon...
This morning saw that my old phone cannot be switch on
Dunno Happy or sad that I've to buy a new phone..... =P
Any way, It's Friday!!!!! The weekend is here and I am happy anyway... even if it's the 13th.. hee...
Later!!

2006-01-12T17:28:00.000+08:00

I'm really sad today...
So excited yesterday that I'll be going to MOS.
Who knows I really get the TIME of MY LIFE!!!!
Stupiiiid me left my cutie purple handphone in the TOILET!!!
Tink I am the most unlucky person in SG...
SO many weird sway things happened this week!!!
This IS a WONDERFUL GOOD Example of a lousy week... any thing that can go wrong go wrong and anything that cannot go wrong oso go wrong.... Sigh.......

Monday: Escalator coming down and I step on it when I want to go up actually..... what am tinking?????
Tuesday: Holiday- What happened? Hmm...
Tuesday Nite: Got home. Got some stupid snide remarks from my sis, suddenly feel like in nobody in this world like me... better to go some mountains in Africa and live with the Lions.....
(Alternatively, move else where)
Wednesday:
- Wanted to leave at 5.30 but can't.
- Heard some gossipmonger gossiping about someone... most prob abt me(WAt's it ABT goinG home ONTIME?????)
- Got to the MRT stn realise FARECARD left in office.
- LATE for seminar
- Caught in rain
- LOST my cutie purple handphone in the TOILET!!! (See abv)
- SPOIL MOOD FOR PARTYING
-ZZZZ at 3am.....
THURSDAY(AKA TODAY): So happily thot that I'll receive my new SIM card... but no... the delivery guy have to come at the time when he cannot come in..... =( Haf to wait till tmr(AT least I'll get tt)

How can anyone be so inconsiderate??
I MISS MY cutie purple handphone!
May the one who get my phone get pimples all over her face and constipation for a month(Quoting my sister) =P

2005-12-09T10:36:00.000+08:00

So Many ppl are leaving...
Those that are deemed more adventurous are all leaving.. hope more dynamic ppl come in.. =)
Why is all leaving?? But I am glad I am not the only one who wans to leave.
Yet I am in a dilemma myself. Should I leave or not?
Sometimes life here is really quite simple and stable at least for now. Quite comfortable too..
Dun really see the need to change much. Yet is this simple boring life my kind of life? For the rest of my time here?
Past few years have been so filled with life and activity. And now.... well.. I've a really nice man with me... but activity level is going down and down... Maybe I'm growing old... =(

It's end of the year again... so happy... holidays holidays holidays... =)

Last Minute in the Office

2005-11-23T17:51:00.000+08:00

Now in office waiting to leave for yet another dinner....
Juz thinking of the food makes me full... but I think it's a gd strategy to eat alot then get sick of them and I'll never need to eat again.. then will be able to slim down.. hahah....
But for today.. all my efforts to slim down for the past few weeks will go down the drain.. =( Need to fast for the next month hee...

Me thinking of belling dancing... I really shld have some out of office activity other than seeing the same person.... even if I am not bored... I believe he'd be...
Still.... difficult to do other things coz it's juz a fact.. I am lazy.... hee...

okie gtg now.. continue another day....

Bintan

2005-10-26T23:11:00.000+08:00

Juz came back from Bintan... Shoulder ache... burnt... =(
Had really a good relaxing time there... there's nothing there.. totally for me juz to nuah... hee...

Look at my relaxing toes getting a suntan....

Luckily no Sunburnt... hee.....

Next up is a pic of me... hmm... getting fatter.. but luckily this one cannot catch my fats... haha..

=P

Next is me & my Dearie.... he is not very cameraface... but he's kawaII... =)

The pool was nice... the coconut trees are nice... the wind is nice... the sun is nice.... all in all it's a nice trip minus the missing keys, jellyfish, entangling blankets & insufficient utensils, all are really GGGreaaaTTTTT.. =) Thank u for asking me along... =)

Look at the blue skies, green trees......

Hungry... =0

2005-08-19T10:56:00.000+08:00

It's 11 now.. no breakfast yet.. =0
Going for lunch soon.... Yeah....
Fri mood= no mood for work...
wanna go out n play... but still haf co dinner to go... Having western food... =P

Very soon I'll hate eating... been eating so much.. heard that nearer to Mid Autumn, there'll be more mooncakes coming... =( guess i'll have to move to the gym soon... =P

My last min

2005-08-18T17:48:00.000+08:00

SPending my last few Minutes in office writing this... haha..
Stupid bus come only every half hr... so haf to find someway to pass sometime..
Work so much today n yesterday... dun feel like thinking anymore... leava all to tmr...

Been thinking about alot of things these days... all sensored for here... but well... my conclusion is.. all thots and no action is jzu a waste of time... but some things are meant to be juz thots, juz problems that cannot be solved... and harping over them only make one sadder...

SOmethings juz have to be accepted coz no amount of change can solve the problem...
No amount of analysing the problem can solve the problem...
Running is not a solution...
so i'm juz going to sit on the problem... hopefully my fat butt can squash the problem to pieces and be blown away by the wind......

If problem is part of life, does that mean that life is incomplete without problem...
Hmm... we here to create problem to justify our existence to try solve problem??
hmmm.. gotta go catch bus.....

Working once more.....

2005-07-27T10:46:00.000+08:00

Work is tiring....
Work can be interesting...
Now I can understand why many working ppl become grumpy....
I am becoming grumpy too....

I wun try to like my job...
I'll try to get use to it...
I wun try to run away from working...
I'll try to find a replacement....

I muz be happy and I still have many many years to go...
No joys in work make everything else enjoyable..
How Optimistic..... =P

Now I am reading Da Vinci's code... really interesting... if they are all real,
then what in the world is truth? So many truth to one matter.... how would we know if the truth we know is the truth.....
Hmm... intuition n faith are impt.....

UnBelieveable

2005-07-25T16:23:00.000+08:00

I'm bored... I am actually counting down the time for me to go home...
Think this is the 1st time I am doing this since I start work here...

so much to do the past few days... now nothing much to do... maybe I left something out??
Maybe I forgot to do something?? Hope not! =P

Me had a good weekend rotting away... had a real good rest... =)
But late last week... I suddenly find life meaningless... dunno wat I am working for...
suddenly I become aimless...

Since I started school, my aim was juz to be happy and do well for my exams in order to go to the higher levels... I was interested in doing that and so is very very motivated to do that...
Now?? Well, the aim to go higher shld still be similar, but the motivation is just not there... I really am not interested in fighting to be the best... I juz want to live peacefully and then wat?? Die off...?? hmm.....

My life is not going to be so simple... there must be more to just working and sleeping and spending the money that I earn.... But wat izzit that is missing?? I just cannot find out....Maybe I need to find an aim that I have to work for... work really hard and use my brains... well this job now that I have require me to use my brains... but not in the way I am interested to I guess... Maybe that's why I still feel something missing??

Well this is one good job.. easy w rather gd pay, bz most of the time.... but i just end up feeling lost n not knowing wat I am doing all these for... no sense of achievement, or when there is, it's shortlived n I dun really get happiness from that kind of sense of achievement... I need to do more than wat I am doing now... need more hobbies.... hmm....
Maybe really shld try to join some ECA....

One more hr to knock off.....

sentOsA AFLAME!!

2005-07-11T10:53:00.000+08:00

BBQ @ Sentosa last nite... one of the best bbq I've been too.. no left over 'chao da' food...
No long long waiting for the fire to start... hmm.. really nice....
ALtho it juz rained... the wet bbq pit's spirit dun seem dampen by the rain...

My dearie was sick tho... tink it'd be even more fun if he is his usual funny self... He was still cuet tho... hee..

Sentosa Island... on my way home.. I was wondering if Sentosa is still an Island... dun seem to fit my Primary School definition of Island.... hmm... yah it is surrounded by sea... but it is joined by so many roads and railways.. dun really feel like a getaway anymore.. coz anyone can find me just by driving in...

The chalet yesterday was at the small huts... I tink it's really nice tho it's be better if there is an attached toilet.. hee...

Good morning....WEEKEND!

2005-06-17T09:24:00.000+08:00

Yeah it's weekend again! and I am bored.

Now it's only 9 plus... so many more hours to go... =(

Maybe I'd leave at 3.45 today?? hee... not very nice but i really haf nothing to do.. can't help it...
I feel so tired so sick and so bored... feel like going ktv again.. i wanna go singing n dancing again..
I miss my life last year.... =(

Boredom

2005-06-16T14:11:00.000+08:00

Boredom slows time....
Time seems to stop for it...
When u are bored, u haf all the time in the world....
SO maybe one'll live longer if one is bored most of the time...

Creeping creeping...... Time is creeping... so slowly so draggy....
I wanna go home and watch tv, n zzzz... I am turning into a pig....

Swing Hands

2005-06-16T13:58:00.000+08:00

This morning as I walked towards the MRT stn, I started to notice how ppl walk w their hands swinging by their side....

Imagine how the other animals see us......
Moving animals w swinging hand... quite hilarious when i imagine it in my mind...
a big grp of moving humans w both arms swinging by their side.....

Mindy Returns....

2005-06-16T12:50:00.000+08:00

Been away for sometime...
Too caught up in the new environment... 24 hrs is not enough for all that I wan to do...

Y is life like tt...?? I either haf too much time or too little... grrrr.... this sux...

But I tink still.. being bz is better than being bored w nothing to do...
Hope I'll continue liking my job.. n not get bored of it after awhile.. =P

Life's been rather good.. so good I am putting on weight.. can't exercise =( so tired after work...
Then the food at work is served in huge portions and at how prices... yummy... sigh... CONTROL!!!

Juz bought a pair of earrings.. nice nice... =)But nt many ppl tink so...
My taste in many things is juz unique...

I still cannot make myself like office wear... =(

Paranioa or Personality or Probably the TruTH

2005-06-07T22:19:00.000+08:00

The more I am alive.. the more I tink nobody really cares for me...
really hope I am juz paranoid and it's not my personality that makes nobody care....
Hope that it's their personality to not show they care and not my personality....

I just feel that watever I do... it dun really matter to anyone... SO so true... =(

Whether I am bz or not it dun matter... whether I am sick... whether I hurt myself... it dun matter...
Maybe I juz hurt myself too much it's become n the norm n it dun matter anymore...

Today I stepped on my sis's laptop's plug n she never even apologise when i told her not to leave it lying ard... =(
My family dun really care abt me... they juz care whether I am home... n in my opinion... tt is the thing that dun matter... they really care abt the wrong things....

during work.. everyone is so bz... they haf no time to tell me much... n i felt so left out... then i come home to a hostile family.... i feel left out again... my life is so miserable... i juz work n come home to tok to myself on blog.... =(

Tink I am becoming pessimistic again... =P or izzit true n i am not paranoid....

Anyway, watching movie tmr... yes!! hee... so maybe I shld be happier?? =)

30mins of tears

2005-06-04T00:44:00.000+08:00

Can really get angry w everything...
w the computer...
w the games...
w the weather...
w the chair....
w the shoes....
w the contact lens....
w myself....
w my sister...
w my action...
w my thots....
w my reaction...
w my words....
w myself....
w myself n
w myself....
shld i continue being spiteful n angry w myself????
Maybe i'd feel better after a zzzz and not be so angry anymore.... and not be spiteful anymore...

Tears flow.... for wat???
Moody... for wat???
For disappointments I created myself and for hopes i lifted high???

Frustrations and confusion... a mixture of emotions... so confusing so tiring...
Irony of it all??
I created all my self...
I made the frustrations, the confusion the trouble... really looking for trouble myself... so so duh....

Friday nite

2005-06-03T22:10:00.000+08:00

2nd attempt at gambling mahjong... n I won!! Lucky lucky day... hee...
But it's fri nite and I am at home... no one online to crap with... so boring...
N the weather is so so terrible... but then again.. i am really very lucky today at gambling... hee..

Me juz had a bao for dinner... hungry again... =P
Haiz... dunno wat I am writing abt... guess my life is not really tt interesting... nothing to write abt except eating, sleeping n working....
Going to start work soon... so exciting.. hope this excitement will last....

Went to dbl o last nite.. yah on a thurs nite... hmm.. maybe I was early... it's juz quiet... like a club in the afternn... but i still got high from the tequila orange... so easily high.. so dangerous... hee.. but most prob it's coz my fren kept drinking the orange on top n I was drinking from below the tequila... =p

weekend's here... wonder wat will happen this weekend...
Juz d/l new version of msn... so fun.... =P

I AM BORED... maybe i shld go zzz... so early on fri... my last fri b4 i start working... n i am doing nothing.. so sad.. =P

Happy Once MorE

2005-06-02T01:09:00.000+08:00

Juz came back from a relaxing n tiring trip from Penang and Redang... will haf pics for update soon... =P

N I am really happy coz I've got a job!!!
Miraculously after my complaining abt not having a job n being useless, I got the job.. well it's really last min and I tink most prob someone else haf rejected the position before me... =( but who cares as long as I get it... hee.....

Me got my results today.. alittle disappointing.... but well... Maybe I really deserve it.. but i really thot i did quite abit for this paper already... maybe I am turning stupid... ='( Hopefully not...
Audrey did really well n I am happi for her.. =)

Now it's so late n I am so so hungry... tmr still haf to go out...
Abit sianz abt going out.. but haf to.. hee... else not much chance liao... =P

So many decisions to make... haf to decide wat new suit to buy.. whether I shld buy expensive or cheap cosmetics.. where to eat when meeting Joanna tmr.... etc etc....

After spending one week 7 days 24 hrs w someone... thot wld be sick of the person.. no no tt's not true... juz left him for 3 hrs and i am already wondering wat he's dreaming of now... hee... =P
Mushy.. i know... who cares... =P

Sad again...

2005-05-23T22:11:00.000+08:00

Can't find job...
Is it that I have not sent enough resumes or are my resumes ineffective?? No appointment for interviews... no emails nothing!!!
My confidence level is juz going down n down n with it my expectations and aspirations...
I feel like the 4 yrs in sch did nothign for me.. wasted.. completely...
Maybe I'd feel better tinking the job for me is not open yet... still in the black hole... waiting to emerge n find me...
Yah wait for job to find me... dream on... dream dream dream....

But really I shld take things easy... n not be stuck w someting I'll hate... hmm....
Is it me who dunno wat I wan or is there nothing THat I wan??
I hope it's the latter but I tink it's the 1st... so bad so bad.... so all those career talks maybe they mean somethng... =P

Emotional ctrl... good or bad.... I really dunno... sometimes really appropriate to juz not say a thing.. sometimes really feel like pouring all out.. n to whom is the next qn n the next is for wat....
If saying something only makes the burden heavier and no effect on anyting... wat's really the purpose???
sometimes there is really no need for tok... But I juz feel it's gd to say... sometimes there are some qn that i know i dun wan the answer... but I'll still ask... for wat?? I dunno...
Life is one huge messy dilemma... Filled with internal struggle, covered by the calm surface....
Does others feel this way or is it juz me.... I am in dilemma over almost anything... tink I am juz a indecisive idiot.. not really of much use to this world... hmm... I've been trying to find my values.. my worth.. my purpose.. my reason... for being alive... none haf I found... or maybe tt's my purpose n reason... to find n discover my purpose n reason....
Maybe that is juz an excuse of a person who dunno herself well... Maybe there is no predesignated reason... I am suppose to decide on that and carry it out... decide on wat I wan n try to get it.. be daring n free n bold n straightforward... take some risk....
All my life so far haf been quite smooth sailing coz I always take the safe route... maybe this time I shld take one tt though I tink tt it maynot work... I still take....maybe it'll lead to something different???

The 20th DAe

2005-05-20T12:55:00.000+08:00

Been 20 dayz since my last paper....
So long!!!!!!!!
Such lengths of boredom and such periods of disappointments...
Now I understand why working life makes ppl less optimistic about life...... It's actually the jobsearch that brings the whole point of view of LIFE down......

I am so sad... so disappointed in myself... really useless... maybe I shld juz pack my bks, buy new ones and go back to sch....
Or maybe I shld juz go back to BTI and be a lab rat... maybe I belong in such places where human relationship plays no part and everyone juz do wat they wan n wat is needed of them n get out of the place......

NO no!! I dun wan!!! I wan to work at somewhere interesting, where I can learn something....

Been really stressing myself out recently and really binge... on my wardrobe... bought so much new clothes that are in my view really extra... but somehow... buying something makes me feel like I've got something done... something I want done.... MY poor account tho....

Wonder wat job I'll end up with... this is all so exciting yet so depressing....
I want to work!!!!!! I'M BORED TO TEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thankfully me going Malaysia next week... n results are coming out when I return... such an exciting wk ahead... think my brains are going to explode from the pressure and excitement.... the push of excitement within and the pressure applied from outside.... =(

Exam's over at last... =)

2005-05-08T17:08:00.000+08:00

Thot that after exams I will be able to enjoy the great feelin of putting down a great burden....
NO that's not to be the case....

I juz put down one and carry another.... but for now,
I decided to carry this second burden n enjoy my life 1st... hee...

been doing nothing much the past one week.....juz had a lot of slacking n fun time... hee... but too bad haven't been clubbing... no one to go with anyway..... =P
Watched alot of cartoons.... Initial D and GTO.... Oh Onizuka is so so shuai.... Love him even in the cartoon more Ah Beng form.... =P Funny that I can fall azzz watching Initial D tho... Takomi's quite cute too...

Also watched quite a few movies.......
HOuse of Wax.....hmm.... usual bimbotic show with pretty gals with scary figure running ard n doing stupid things like trapping themselves in the basements... the hunks are himbos too..... but the ending of the show is not bad... nice effect... lots of gruesome effects too (Not that I really see all of them... covered my eyes for some parts...) not a bad show.... but tix price increasing... sad....
Then also watched some dvds.... watched a cannibalism movie juz now.... hmm... really wonder who are the true cannibals.... should we really fear wat's different from us?? And in the 1st place, are they really different from us???
Then I watch Stepford's Wife.... interesting show but too simple a story line... the idea's really interesting... Tho a stepford's husband wld be nicer... but maybe guys do not haf much room for improvement in terms of looks... maybe they'll haf a part 2?? Hee... (Rubbish)

Me learning guitar now... me only haf few pathetic cords..... cannot really play much songs... hope can do tt by the time i start working...

Today's Mummy's DAe.... My mum's the Best MUm on Earth....... coz i only haf one mum.... so tt line really dun mean much.... I've always thot.... I feel that the best time to celebrate mother's day is on my b-dae... coz tht's the dae that she suffered quite a bit and it's the start of her suffering... As I am her 1st child... it's really the start for my mummy.....My mum's a real wonderful women.... keepin the family going.... n trying to appear happy.... and thinks so much for us.... I always think tt she thinks too much.... worries too much.... but it really cannot be help... tt is the occupation hazard of being a mum..... The best I can do is to assure her I am fine all the time...
Being a mother is really a tiring job... n is really stereotyped... Y Dad cannot take over a Mum's job??? Hmm... tho I am not sure if mum's willing to take over dad's job.... hee....

My Job search starts tmr... all the best to me... =)

I've been Spoilt

2005-04-27T23:05:00.000+08:00

Yapz yapz.... I was a spoilt brat on MOnday... a petty spoilt brat.... =P
Hmm... too bad for the guy who haf to endure this.... but thanz.... Thanz a million to the power of zillion.... so glad to haf u by my side... =)

Guess it's monday blues.... or exams blues.... hope nothing like this happen again... hope i stop being so childish n paranoid.... =P

Then I had a bad day yesterday... felt almost drunk the whole day.... I was having a splitting headache n the super duper hot hot weather really never help much....
So I slept almost the day away n never really did much work.... but seems like tt is useful...
for today.. I studied alot and am really effective n lasted really long in my notes n tutorials.... I am glad i slacked yesterday.....
Once again...thanx..... =)

Two more papers to go... =) Yippee... can relac... n start to worry abt jobs... =(....
A better tmr....

Feel Much better

2005-04-25T13:21:00.000+08:00

Pouring my woes out really work... makes me feel better... =)
Juz started another blog... wrote things that can only be read by myself in it... felt like i've really told someone about them... feeling better already....
After writing my troubles on screen and reading it... i felt like i've left it in the virtual world and can resume my life in the real world without all those troubles... =)

good way to become happier... works for me at least... (Best way is to pour out woes to someone.... but well the best way is not always available....)

Sometimes my trouble is so wu liao... really see no pt in telling anyone else... no one will understand why something so wu liao can bother me..... so hard to be a weirdo......

One More Week..........

2005-04-25T12:36:00.000+08:00

One more week

one more week..........

Nothing's right these days........ My stupid gmail still can't be accessed from my computer.. grrr...

Y izzit that others can be happy.... I could be happy..... yet these few days nothing works that can make me happy... everything juz go wrong......... grrrr........

I'm going to stay home for another 4 days(5 to be exact)....Muz study hard.... last stretch.....

Oh I miss my gd frenz..............Miss gossiping w ml n emi....... miss chatting with Joanna...... I miss my sister.... I miss dancing.... I miss singing.... I miss shopping....

I miss walking non-stop in town (From Orchard to bugis to suntec)..... I miss the beach... I miss the gym... I miss the pool.... I miss performing..... I miss everything........ ='(

Finally exam's going to be over... hope i can see all my frenz soon...

Exam's getting over... I shld be happy... but i am getting more depressed that it is ending....

Maybe I am worried about the unknown... dunno wat will happen to me after this saturday....

Will I get a job?? = scared scared..... I think I haf post exams depression before my exams are over..... this always happen... damn.............

Why whY wHy???

2005-04-25T12:29:00.000+08:00

Why is it That I always do things that nobody likes???
Sometimes I really do things without purpose... Benefit no one..... Hope I will eventually do the right things someday......... Can't afford too much mistakes in my life..... life is short.....
I think I am mad again.....

Nobody Likes me... ='(

Wat Am I doinG????

2005-04-19T22:13:00.000+08:00

Wat in the world am i doing??
I shld be studying....
yet now i am listening to songs, drinkin ribena, playing minesweeper and writting blog at the same time..... =P (And I juz updated my friendster and surfed all my emails....)

Real Slacker man... goodluck for me tmr! I've a HRM paper tmr....
I read alot about trust today.....
I woke up so late today!!! N i Am already zzzpy.... oh no.. me turnin so lazy... =(

Oh juz watched Creep... scary suspend thru out but not much of a smart story line....
Typical movie for ppl who find normal life too boring.... I'll never be in the MRT tunnel w the same feelings......

REvision time....
Trust is the willingness to be vulnerable and open to risk....
To haf trust in a person is to be able to put oneself into a vulnerable position...
To work properly and successfully, team mates need to haf trust in each other....
Hmm.....

So long so fast...........

2005-04-12T13:48:00.000+08:00

My Don't Worry Be happy plan worked..... hee...... now my work are almost done...
The semester's coming to an end... my uni life is coming to an end....
How time flies......... from the 1st day I was in NUS for FWC till now, the last month I'm slogging away in sch......... I've really changed so so much........
From a short red haired shorty to a long wavy blonde shorty........
From a stupid gal to a silly gal.........
From a Messy person to an even messier individual......
From a talkative gal to a MORE talkative gal...... HAhahaha......
From a someone who loves to sing to someone who lives to sing........
From a single hack care about the world gal to..............

Mushy?????? Yah I think so............ heeeee......... (juz wanna link the pic to the things I am saying.... =P)

I decide so I am

2005-04-08T13:45:00.000+08:00

Feelin in a good mood today...... =)

After reading abt Monaco Prince in the news paper today..... and after my breakfast...
I decided that I should choose to be happy....... there's really nothing to be sad about.....

Sinking into a state of depression will only make me sink deeper into sadness, pessimistivity, self destruction and self abandone.............

SO I decided to be happy........... and I am....... =)

No this dun make sense.........
But life is about choices....... U choose to be happy and u BE HAPPY....... =)

I am mad

2005-04-07T18:26:00.000+08:00

I am turning mad I tink.......
I keep thinking that I hear the hp ring.............

=P

I hate myself for loving you

2005-04-07T18:17:00.000+08:00

This is from one of my favorite song when I was young........ describe my feeling for something really well..............

"I hate myself for loving you

Can't break free from the the things that I do

I wanna walk but I run back to you

that's why I hate myself for loving you"

Sometimes you know you should juz let go.........

But u juz continue doing the wrong things.......

sometimes you know wat is right............

YOu juz choose to go the wrong way............

weirdos.....

weird.........

strange.........

un-understandable.......

???????.............

You can't help but ask y.........

Memoodymadmessupmadmindymuggingmadmindy

2005-04-07T16:16:00.000+08:00

In bad mood again........
Muz be the weather.........
so stressed I went to cut my hair.........
somehow this time haircutting does no effect on my mood......
still feel that life sucks........
still feel sad and that Earth is flat...........
n i am at the edge of it....... falling off...........
All the school work pulling me down..........
Juz hope this mth pass soon...... =)

All

Women - PeTty???

2005-04-06T11:07:00.000+08:00

R women pettY???

Hmm... or juz feel JealouSy or shoW jealousy MorE easily???

I'd think it's the latter....

Maybe it's the lethal combination of the two.... =P

Or maybe they are juz not feeling well most of the time.......

Or maybe they are too free...........

Or maybe they simply think too much....... like now..........

oh...... or maybe it is a fact............ women = petty........................

PetTy

2005-04-06T09:28:00.000+08:00

pet·ty ( P ) adj. pet·ti·er, pet·ti·est

Of small importance; trivial: a petty grievance.
Marked by narrowness of mind, ideas, or views.

that I am............ =(

More stuff and more stuff.. i'm stuffed

2005-04-05T18:17:00.000+08:00

So much to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Argh... wish all these will be over soon.........
then i can enjoy my time doing wat i like........... for at least a mth........
then i'll be back to an eternal life of doing things I hate.........

I'll try to like it tho...........

nice sky now. outside my window. .. see...... =)

Later in the nite........
brrrrrr......... so cold now............
only 940...... n I am sleepy already.... Y?? I haven't do enough.......
=(

2005-03-31T22:21:00.000+08:00

My bdae was great...... My prezzie were great...... =)

I love my life.........

Coz I haf ppl I love and who love me ard me............... =)

My teddy bear n flowers...... my biggest bouquet of flowers.... =)

Flowers are a waste of money but the effect they haf on gals........(mostly) is.... wow.....
hee.... think i never smile so happily when i saw them...........

The teddy comes w cookies..... yummy..... =P

It was also the 1st time I was on Mt Faber... (super sua ku)...........

BEautifullllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)

Love the nature.... Think it is one of the few places i love in SG.....(I hate buildings)

Before my b-dae I also celebrated at KTV....... wow..... my usual KTV kaki there plus my MUM!!! hee...... fun fun....... (tho I was running ard for my life to do my project)

really my best b-dae..........
Hope it gets better................
=)

Counting DowN....

2005-03-23T22:27:00.000+08:00

1 more mth to slog......
yesh........

=)

now my head's big, my neck's aching... my eyes are tired... my fingers are numb......

will they survive till end of this mth??

=P

The BoarD of ComplAinT

2005-03-17T22:37:00.000+08:00

Board of Complaints...............................

This is not my day................................

I am not happy tho I shld be..................

I am a living dilemma........................

I feel ppl ard me getting further from me.......

Is this the process of growing up???

U lost ur friends????

Hope not!

This is the Board of complaint....
I am bored....
today's been really brainsqueezing.....
Used every microgram of my brain cells to get the formula working(well at least my brain cells din work for nothing it works!!)....

Then I couldn't really decide wat to haf for lunch tho i was hungry...
ANd I couldn't really Think of wat I wan to haf foR dinner tho I was famished too... think the work in the afternn haf rendered my brains useless for anything too simple....

I can solve n design a reactor... but i can't decide wat to eat for my meals.. n even how to spend my money!!!!!
I juz bought a bracelet which is actually quite useless...(real pretty but useless)
WAT AM I DOING... wasting money like tt.. think i juz need to release the stress in my head...=P

Then I was so drained from work... i decided to look at 'lighter' work...
I surf the companies websites... then i really haf to admit to myself.. my brain is exhausted n haf to shut down (So I am writing this bit of the blog w wat's remaining of my sanity)

Today's not really been my day....
altho i made big advancement in my project... i am too tired to feel happy anymore...

Now... I am juz bored... nothing to do...
can't think of anything to do...
can't do anything...
n I DUN WAN TO GO TO SLEEPPPPP...........

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.............

i'm HITCHED!!

2005-03-14T18:08:00.000+08:00

I'm HITOh forgot to say...
I watched Hitch w Joe... well.. good that i watched with him.. hee..
any show is nice w him beside me....
eeeeeeeeeeeee........ mushy......................

It's MArch!! It's MArch!!!!

2005-03-14T17:53:00.000+08:00

Oh no.. march's here....
1.5 more mths to exams... grrr....
so many things due... so many projects to do..

Just had a terrible presentation... I went shooting off like a machine gun... this is wat i do when i get nervous... speak like i am rushing to the toilet... =(

Took a resume pic... so so so sos so so so fat n ugly... think i better go gym more often...
I really wan to go more... but my stupid projects and work make me so tired i dun feel like working out anymore... so i juz end up sitting n sleeping n sitting n sleeping.... u get the idea... =(

I've past my depressed state... AND my stressed state.... now i am juz a calm rock in the middle of the storm... clinging on strongly to the sea bed... hoping the storm will be over (actually no need to hope, i know THIS storm will definately be over by MAY.. no one knows abt the next one)
Well juz try my best to get thru this... the next storm when it comes........ i'll juz become a stronger rock......

today's weather's terrible... makes me feel like not doing anythign again.. =( (EXCUSES!!!!!)
today's been too exciting... so many friends to say 'Hi' to...

I am so so tired....zzzzz....

2005-03-03T22:53:00.000+08:00

Life is now one tiring process...
awake for studying tests...
awake for tests...
finally after a tough 1.5 week.. the tests are over!!!!!
Time to rejoice??? No WAy!!
The DeviL call SchooL doeS noT let me off so easiLy....
Bent on Torturing me in the short Time She hAf with me (2 mths to be exact)
Never thot sch to be as refered to as a devil... but she's trying her best to prove she's one... ='(

After the tests... well of course there are some more tests... but that'll be 2 weeks later.. so lemme be depressed again lata.... but is tt wat will happen???
No WaY!!
I've projects!!! SO many many.. all due one wk after another... hmm... not that I never realise this but i thinK u'll really haf to be close to the FirE to FeeL the HeaT....

2005-02-28T23:05:00.000+08:00

this is the last day of February
the mth filled with love and joy.....
both i do feel....... CHEERS!!!!!! hee...

So happy this mth... met up with almost all ppl I can meet up with....
Caught up with Joanna (tho she's late.. but well i miss toking to her!!)
Caught up with Emi and Meilin... at the ktv... nice time screaming our lungs out...
hee...(juz hope tt Joe's not too bored with the girly tok.. =P Thanx for being there hunnie. =))

I even caught up with Eddie... thanx to the movie preview...
Interesting theatre.. really like a LT... but with huge leather seats instead...

White Noise is really nice... kept my heart at my throat...
really feel like hugging someone to maintain my screams....
I ended up hugging my jacket.... =P

Hitch's coming up.... yeah.. hee... but really shld i watch w Joe?? Hmm... teaching him how to get the gal he wans dun sound tt appealing to me... haha... =P

Fallin deeper me................

brains?? Heart??

2005-02-16T10:26:00.000+08:00

Finally i found the answer to my problems....

i've been taught to b rational n logical... yet sometimes tt with abit of emotion n feel may make a problem not one any more....(but 2 or 3?? haha...)

just like in sports and in music... if u try too hard... u'll not get wat u wan...

In singing, the best sound is heard when u let ur feelings take over and not when u try ur best to be in tune n to haf the correct tone n to use ur diaphram n to be concerned abt ur diction etc etc....

In bowling, the techniques maybe impt but the feel for the ball in the bowler is still also crucial....

Hence in many times the feel is impt... it is not totally emotional, juz a mechanism by which a person can achieve things with... a feeling that can help guide me...

There are many sides of the coin n the only way to choose which side is thru the heart... feel which side is right... trust myself... trust my heart...

cOWARDICE

2005-02-15T12:30:00.000+08:00

Argh..... juz wrote an entry and my modem haf to d/c... stupid modem....

was reading the last entry I wrote.. think i think too much...
Just hate to be an escaper from reality... but i tink i really am... for the amt tt think is so far less than the amt tt i ask... i really dare not ask... wat am i scared of??
The only thing I can b afraid of is the truth...

I am a coward... i hide when i am scared... so i hide...

Life Is good now... i dun wan to change a thing... knowing more truths maynot change anything n may even make things better... but i am not a risk taker i guess... maintaining the equilibria now is good....

I am a silly gal...

Enough of serious crap... lets make some rubbish now.....
hmm... rubbish??.....argh forget it... leave it to the next entry.. =)
M I S S M I S S M I S S M I S S M I S S M I S S

Two sides Of the coin..

2005-02-15T01:08:00.000+08:00

There are so many ways to see a matter...
So many possible reasons behind every actions....
So many possible lies behind every reason.....
So many many... n only one reason is the truth...

Is thinking too much bad??
Is there really two sides of the coin... only???
I really wish there's only two sides... but no it's not.... there are more than 2 sides...
so many many many sides that it makes my head big....

Dilemma is mad......
Curiosity is irritating....
Is it good to wan to know too much???
how much is too much???
Better to know than not knoe....
Yet If knowledge dun make me happier.... shld I still try to know???

Maybe I shld stop searching...
Stop knowing more that make me sad...

How I wish I can choose.... =(

HAppY VAlenTinE's... =)

2005-02-14T23:55:00.000+08:00

Had ThE moSt wondErful V-dae....
No BiG BouqueT of FlowerS, no Extravagant presEnt.....
But All thaT I waNt is tHeRe.... My ValentIne... =)

SomE simPle ambIencE, Nice musiC, gooD CheF, niCe pasta by the SunligHt.....
SomE DAnCE, somE sonGs.....

If LifE can Be likE todaY everyDay... it'll be GGGGGreaTTTT........ =)
but... we'll starve I think.. hee.. =P

HAPPY................=P

2005-02-02T23:21:00.000+08:00

Not a good day today...
Lots of bad news greeted me in the morning...
Ppl close to me are not feeling good.... =(
hope all will turn for the better and may wat past stays there... in the past...

life is more than having everything go our way....
it's how to cope with the unexpected twists and turns...
some twists are happy "Lets Twist agaIN...."
some turns are terrible....
Life is like climbing a mountain...
never stop till u reach the peak....
u may fall... but the wound will heal...
a scar maybe left... juz to remind oneself to be careful.... =)

Life is beautiful if u make it so....
Hope all my frens are happy.... =)

2005-02-01T23:32:00.000+08:00

First test in 8 or 9 mths...

tmr @ 6pm.... worried....

all tables n diagrams of molecules..... hmm... wat am i suppose to study?? How many carbon atoms are there in a naphthalene???? yeeeeksss.....

i know i shld be studying now n not writing this crap... but it's 1130 already!!! my mind is set for crapping not studying chemical cpds or that Western Europe uses the largest amt of insecticide... (is tt rite?? let me check)... yah it's rite... =P

today's so so interesting... in my bid to get to lec quick i fell twice on two continuous flight of stairs.... I am not wearing heels but slippers k!!!!! Conclusion: I run better in heels......

Then i went swimming.... tough luck.... no cute guys... =P juz kiddin'..... hunnie dun b mad... (but it's true)

then i came home to try study.... well...... PCK n Lydia are all quite nice oops.....

okie.. me watched more tv than study... it's really hard to study those.... =(

i'll try again tmr morning when my mind's fresher... =)

I am sure i can do it!!!!!!

I am really bored................... so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so bored!!!!

tink i'll go zzzzz soon b4 i start writing rubbish here......... coz tt's wat in my mind now at this moment... rubbish n more rubbish.......... grrrrrrrrrrrr.................

2005-02-01T23:19:00.000+08:00

I muz haf more confidence in my self.............

I muz haf more confidence in my self.............

I muz haf more confidence in my self.............

I muz haf more confidence in my self.............

I muz haf more confidence in my self.............

I muz haf more confidence in my self.............

I muz haf more confidence in my self.............

I muz haf more confidence in my self.............

I muz haf more confidence in my self.............

I muz haf more confidence in my self.............

I muz haf more confidence in my self.............

I muz haf more confidence in my self.............

I muz haf more confidence in my self.............

I muz haf more confidence in my self.............

I muz haf more confidence in my self.............

I muz haf more confidence in my self.............

I muz haf more confidence in my self.............

<3

2005-01-27T23:27:00.000+08:00

today I am moody......

MOODY MOODY MOODY MOODY MOODY MOODY MOODY

Feel like

sour sour sour prunes.......

$$$$$

2005-01-26T23:56:00.000+08:00

new outlook..... how's tt...??

Hmm..... after these few days... realise money's really impt... and when it turn into mere numbers that just increase or decrease on the atm, it's scarier.....
I spent alot over the weekend and after the weekend....
well,,, in the new year mood... hee.......... buying new year stuff(clothes) can really ignite the spending flame...
But I juz feel like buying wat I wan... to be happier... my reasoning is that if i spent n no harm is done to anyone else or myself.... y can't i spend my own money?? and in the process i will b happier........ hmm..... will i??
well...... in exchange for a short period of happiness and satisfaction, i risk a future of regret..... HOPE NOT!!!!

well.. here's my conquest...... dress, bikini, earrings, tops, and the latest a mp3 player... happy when i see the stuff yet angry at the same time w myself y i spend so much... =(

hopefully i'll quickly earn back the money and redeem myself....

hmm..... so...... spending haf some good effect too........
now i haf to work harder to earn money to make up for the amt i spend... but i can't work now... sob sob...........
tink i am mad toking to myself like tt (yet nt really toking to myself...........)

n now gotta prepare v-dae surprise........ hee...... oops......ssssshhhhhhh....

2005-01-23T23:35:00.000+08:00

me went sentosa today!!!! finally we get there!!! =)
Juz after we've finished peeling... we go there to get burnt to peel again....!! hahaha... is this silly or is this enjoying life while still young??? I'd believe it's the latter... =P

Me am cursed and usually it'd rain when I go there... but today... it's perfectly fine... except the sun hides behind the clouds sometimes...... well tt prevent me from becoming totally black... heee....
the sky's blue and the trees are green and the sea is very singapore-cloudy.......
the yucky part is the seabed covered with seaweed. yeeeeeks.......

still me enjoyed myself... haven't been there for so so long... and this time with a great company... =)

we got alittle bored waiting for the sun so decided to play with the camera... hee... here's me n Joseph...

and here's sentosa... =)

whew getting sleepy... else i'll look like a panda tmr... hee.. think better go zzzz.....

2005-01-23T11:49:00.000+08:00

still too bz to edit my page yet... frens juz bear with it.. =P

so glad!! Me managed to get something done for my FYP afterall... hee... it's really a pleasant(?) surprise.... MAybe it's thanx to the macs I had in the morning?? haha...

Haven't ate macs at sch with audrey for ages... romantic.. =P
The macs in sch muz b the most poetic part of sch... haha... with the yellow leaves raining down from the trees and the sun rays shining thru the armpits oops... i mean underneath the branches of the trees... =P really nice view... wish i haf a camera to take tt all down... or maybe juz some paper n paint to make it eternity....

had a real bz day yesterday... starting sch @ 8AM... n it's saturday yesterday!!!!!!!!!
Then I had to go a a lec from 12 to 3.... luckily it's quite a interesting one... so many interesting things happen...
1. the webcast in the other rm was not working... we wasted 15mins......
2. we went to the other rm which is needless to say crowded... so we sat on the floor...
I sat on the floor in my mini skirt.... tiring!!!!!!!!!
3. audrey's sweet keep fallin out of her bag... so wherever we go there'll b sweets on the floor (exaggerating)
4. the gossips from the lecturer are really interesting(I was having law lec)

hmm... dun really sound interesting... yawnz... i really need a life....
finding lectures interesting is soooo loser.... =P

I am juz bored tt's y i am writing here... =(

2005-01-17T16:45:00.000+08:00

oops my page!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
haiz... haf to do my template again.. sorry to whoever's reading my blog...
seems like the pic of the template din stay at where they should.... =P

I'll try to repair it asap... but currently been alittle bz....

Life's undergoing a huge turning point..... in many many ways....

doing my final year project now... thot I'd hate it... I actually quite like it... =P I have wonderful team mates.... =) the project's quite fun and challenging... I love challenges tho it may seem alittle silly sometimes to torture myself..

I juz feel that all these difficulties will make me appreciate life more... will let me appreciate simple things like having free time....

hmm... nothing much to update here... well... here's a most recent "pimply" pic of me... so sad... muz be the turning pt... create so many pts on my head... ='(

2005-01-11T17:09:00.000+08:00

First DAY oF school.... the last time I am going to say this...
wow... 1st day for this one last time is quite eventful...
I found out one interesting fact at least....
I am allergic to school!!
The moment I got into school, I started to sneeze and it din stop till after lecture, after I got off the bus from NUS...
ah... crap....

I juz wish this is juz a small cold and not too serious...

School's boring today... tho I can feel my mind willing to absorb what my lec was saying, my stupid running nose is juz fighting for attention!!!

so so sleepy now... guess I'll sleep early today...

despite my running nose, having met my frens is still quite fun... at least I know that they all still look the same and are still happy... =)

Simple Love

2005-01-10T13:31:00.000+08:00

Met my JC best buddies yesterday.... nice simple meeting for the 3 of us in a nice simple restaurant...
after the meeting... I feel.. friendship is really very very very important especially one like ours... =)

oh me have a new fav song... love the lyrics... describe wat I feel...

简单爱

说不上为什么
我变得很主动
若爱上一个人
什么都会值得去做
我想大声宣布对你
依依不舍
连隔壁邻居
都猜到我现在的感受

河边的风
在吹着头发飘动
牵着你的手
一阵莫名感动
我想带你
回我的外婆家
一起看着日落
一直到我们都睡着

我想就这样牵着你的手不放开
爱能不能够永远单纯没有悲哀
我想带你骑单车
我想和你看棒球
想这样没担忧
唱着歌一直走

我想就这样牵着你的手不放开爱
可不可以简简单单没有伤害
你靠着我的肩膀
你在我胸口睡着
像这样的生活
我爱你你爱我

想简!简!单!单!爱...
想简!简!单!单!爱...

This is Jian Dan Ai (translates literally to Simple Love) by Jay Chou.... nice song... so sweet!!!!!!

we got to a conclusion last nite that
if you like a person, every little thing that he does means alot
and every huge thing he does for you will mean a million times alot.......
if you haf no feelin for the person, he can move a mountain from A-Z for you and you wun feel anything....

This is how simple love is....

I love LifE

2005-01-04T11:46:00.000+08:00

wake up a a bad throat... muz haf eaten too much yesterday.... =P

But the throat do not reflect my feelings now for I am feeling really happy... hee..
everything is going fine...
My logbk is long overdue but I am done with it and can soon bring it to the office...
my report is far from due and I am finishing it!!! Yeah!
My modules are bid and gotten.... now juz wait for monday to come and start sch.. =)

up next... cheer camp!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah.......

The happiest thing is I've decided not to think too much and juz haf FAITH........ =)

I love Life......... =)

confusion once more

2005-01-03T01:31:00.000+08:00

I think i really haf a simple mind
coz i keep getting confused...

my topic of discussion for today:
Is it good to think too much??????
answer: Yes!!!!!

Of course it's good to be thinking
All human think (correction most)
Einstein thinks..... everyone thinks..........
juz how much and about wat........
I really think alot (that explains my big head)

but wat happens when after thinking n u can't get to a solution??
then u get stuck
then u'll dig deeper n deeper into the mind to find the solution
only to find that not only the feet is stuck but the whole person's in the mudhole.....
and the only way to get out is to continue digging.....
this is a neverending job...........

IT's the NeW yeAr!!!!!!!!

2005-01-02T17:06:00.000+08:00

HappY 2005!!!!!!! New Year, New ImagE.... hope this image is still acceptable.. =)
Added a tag board too.... but too bad stupid design dun allow me to change the fontcolor when typing the msg... so guess all readers haf to type blindly then highlight to see if the words r right.. =)

Me reallY happI.... =)
Danced my lasT week of 2004 away and spenT the last few minutes of 2004 bathing....hee... I forgot that i shld be counting down... =P (only realise when i saw the clock in the bathrm) =P
guess I was really too excited and tired...

Made so many wrong moves during the dance... wish I had been more calm and haf a clearer mind... =P But well I had fun... all the way... and tt's wat matters....

Then spent the 1st hrs of 2005 singing(nt at ktv!)... wat life!!!!!! =)
Well I know clubbing or going out to sentosa maybe a "cooler" way of spending new year but... I hate crowds... dun like squeezing with ppl.... no point making myself tired juz to seem like I haf a life... hee......

Then my phone was dead for a day and living without a handphone is really quite weird... but at least I save some time checking hp... hee...... the horrifying thing tt happen is tt it reset itself and I lost my pics and photos and ringtones!!!!!!!!! dunno wat happened.. =(

1st movie of this yr is "meet the fockers"....... a nice one to start the year with... it's a really silly show....

Hmm...... new year resolution??

Well every year my resolution is the same... Live my life to the fullest and wat is full??? Never been able to fulfill my resolution... hee........

WisH all my freNs weLL!!!!!!!! MAy All be hapPy and saFe....

may all my frens get wat they want and have a smooth sailing year ahead...... =)

some frens I may not haf met frequently but in my heart they stay... =)

HAPPY 2005!!!!!!!!!!

So anotheR yeAr's pasT

2004-12-30T21:37:00.000+08:00

a really eventful year is coming to an end...
how time flies...
last year this time I wasn't a very happy gal...
thru out this yr, there were ups and downs(very very bad downs)

so many times in this year I felt so alone....
so many times I questioned my purpose here....

However, many times this year too...
I found true friendships
I found out how to love (and when to love)....
i learnt to love and cherish ppl ard me and cherish myself....

This year I learnt to dance and I learnt to sing
I worked and learn to be more mature (tho I am still very childish in behaviour i know!!)

I am thankful for this year...
coz I made many true frens....
coz I haf many nice encounters...

I am really a much much happier gal after this one year of turbulence...
I am glad for now...
life is peaceful n not boring... =)

clouded mind

2004-12-28T13:33:00.000+08:00

"A mind so clouded
with thots it's flooded

In the midst of romance,
confusion araise

The feeling of love so deep with fear so coupled
really leave the flooded mind so very clouded.

The heart is clear, without a tear, with no fear
Yet the mind is blurred like drunken by beer

The sane heart knows where it belongs even when insane
The drunkened mind knows not where to go even when awake

For the mind is so clouded....
so tired....
willing so much to retired..." - from somewhere out there

Love is known as affair of the heart hence shld not be confused by the mind.... isn't tt so???
Yet life is so practical..... the smart all rule by the mind.......
Henceforth once again I prove only fools fall in love......
correction.......
Falling in love makes one a fool.......
haha.........

juz some view points from a gal who's never been in love much........ n terribly bored at home now..... haha......

A day afTeR XmAs

2004-12-26T15:04:00.000+08:00

Phantom of the OperA is so So nicE!!!!!!!!
Love the musiC!
Tho I surrendered to the sleeP angelS half way thru.... I muz clarify tt it's not the phantom's fault.

Finally I am home one whole day. Tried to do my report... not very successful tho... manage to do the 1st 2 pages (yah inclusive of the cover) only..=P

"Face the reality, escaping is no use.
Watever will be will be.
Follow thy heart.
Follow thy will.
Trust thyself.
The Brave facEs reality in ThE eyes.
The Coward facEs reaLitY's masKs.
and masks will be masks....
fake, fragments of imagination, deemed to fall apart in the end,
Into paper n paint" -anonymous

I think I am very very spiteful.... tt's bad
I think I am very very stubborn..tt's bad
I think I am very very silly.......... tt's bad
I think I am very very selfish..... tt's bad
I think I think too much...............tt's bad

MerRy XmAs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hohoho!!!!!!!!!!!!

2004-12-25T15:02:00.000+08:00

It's xmas time again...
another year's past....

last xmas was a eventful one
This xmas is a happy one... =)

Xmas is a season of giving...
I haven't been giving much tho I've received alot...
I'd like to thank all who've given me presents in watever form (including time and morale support...)

I miss my frenz.... haven't been able to meet them coz everyone's bz.... hope to meet them soon.. =)

slept at 6 this morning... w a huge huge monkey beside me... really not very easy to sleep... hee..
but in the aircon.... having that orangutan beside me is nice....
Din see santa on xmas but saw him on xmas eve eve.... even took a pic... mrs santa was there too...
Carols haf always been part of my xmas.... this yr... it's not sang by me.... This yr... carols are not perfectly sang and heard in shopping malls....
I din receive much gifts on xmas eve but i received alot before xmas eve.....and an esp huge one 4 days b4 xmas....

Bz Bz Bzzzzzzzzzzz.......

2004-12-14T23:37:00.000+08:00

Bz bz... so bz these days
But me happY....
Hope that I can finish my presentation n do it well...
I know I shld be doing my powerpt instead of crapping here... but my mind's really exhausted...
thinking so much....
never stop thinking....
abt work...
abt life....
abt family...
abt money...
abt friends...
abt my passion....
abt love...
WOrk is never ending
Family is always there
Money is never enough
Friends are friends coz they are friends
Passion is music is song is rhythum is melody is the beat is the one thing i'd spend my time on
Love is the feeling of caring for a person(nt juz kpoing)... missing a person (nt juz thinking)... smiling at his sms(nt juz purely replying)... laughing at his cold joke(nt being irritated)... juz feeling safe n happy with him ard (nt unsure and troubled)...... juz a feelin(undefined)...
Hmm... will I find him someday....
I'd find my love, keep all my friends, love my family, maintain my cashflow, and now is time to finish my work.... hahaha...

Fall........

2004-12-12T19:18:00.000+08:00

FallinG DowN and FallinG in Love are diffeRent..........

Falling DowN hurTs.................
FallinG in LovE dUn.................

And Thus this is love

2004-12-09T02:16:00.000+08:00

People meet in different circumstances and interesting and unexpected the way i met this fren....

this is from him.... a really nice view pt abt love....

one so apt... so true... yet so difficult to become true....

One day, Socrates asked his teacher Plato, "What is love?"
Plato told him, "Go through the wheat field once, never turning back. Pick the tallest wheat you can find and bring it back."
Socrates went through the wheat field but came back empty-handed.
Plato asked why. Socrates explained, "While I was walking through the field, I spotted a tall wheat plant. But I fear there may be a taller one behind. So I decided to forgo the first one. Alas, there was none taller one behind. So I came back with nothing."
Plato then told Socrates again, "Go through the woods once, never turning back. Choose the best tree you can find and bring it back."
Socrates went through the woods. This time round, he came back with an average-looking tree.
Plato asked why. Socrates explained, "While I was walking through the woods, I spotted this tree. It may not be the most beautiful or the most sturdy, but it was good in my eyes. And I fear there may not be another one like it further down. So I decided to bring back this one."
Plato then said, "And thus this is love."

Magnanimous???

2004-12-09T01:07:00.000+08:00

To foRgiF onE whO huRt me............................
I am Magnanimous??

Juz forGetfuL maYbe.....

I aM sO bleSSed to haF forgEtfuLness in My geNes....

Juz dun reMinD me....

narciso rodriguez

2004-12-03T13:12:00.000+08:00

This is for reminding myself....
the ribbon was sprayed w narciso rodriguez....

Waiting foR buS

2004-12-02T14:04:00.000+08:00

My destination is juz 3 bus stops away....
Y did I wait??

waiting........
5mins...............
Bus B came.
I did not board.
That goes to another stop near my destination but not as close as the stop for Bus A, the bus that I am waiting for.

waiting......
10mins..............
Bus C came.
I did not board.
This one stops nearer than Bus B but it is not Bus A!!!!

waiting......
20mins...............
Another Bus B came.
I did not board.
I said I'd take Bus A! soon soon soon.... it'd be here soon....
the longer I wait the closer it is to seeing it.....

waiting......
25mins.............
ANother Bus C came and stop in front of me.
Y wait?????
I did not board.
I've already waited for so long... juz wait a while more...

waiting.....
30mins..............
Bus A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I board.
Only one seat left.
Juz nice for me.
The sky haf turned into a nice sapphire blue... my favorite time of the sky.....

Finally I am on Bus A. Such a long wait.

The feeling of getting something after a long wait is magical.
The sense of satisfaction out of such a small matter is GREAT.

How would it feel if I waited for something GREAT?????
Like................... :P

1st luncH

2004-12-01T13:31:00.000+08:00

My 1st lunch of the Rrrrrrrrrrrromantic month oF DecemBer is CUP NOODLES!!!!!!! yeah!
thanx to the blur mindy who forgot to withdraw money..... =P

Today is really a weird day.....
for the weirdest things happen to me......

I saw a bug flew into my eye. (dun ask me when it come out)

I waited half an hr for a SBS bus.

I could sing (the whole FIR album) even tho I am coughing like mad.

I left work after 5!

I was bz the whole day without being in the lab!!!

I was home before 7! (thanx to SG Idol)

I din go online at nite.

I slept before 2!

today's extraordinary.....
Extraodinarily nice...... =P

ThE 1St hoUr

2004-12-01T01:05:00.000+08:00

In the 1st hour of december........
all thots of last december came back...
who'd haf thot i'd be what i am now?

ExaCtlY A yr ago....

I was still a girl happily drenched in hope of meeting her love....
Yet sadly aware that this is only one sided....
Her love contain love for her no more....

Still stubborn and trying to be brave... she smiled... she laughed...
Concealing all her intentions, all her hopes that the smiles can make him stay and laughters to make love stay....

But heR kitE flew.... driftinG.... flying.... floatinG awAy effoRtleSsly......
too faR awaY to see heR smiLeS oR heAr heR lauGhteR..........
ToO fAr foR thE kiTe tO retuRn.....

e kiTe becAme aN eagLe...

an eagle who prefer hiS olD careFree liFe...

a soloist in liFe...

Now........

The eaGle looKs familiAr yet unFAmiliaR....

thE feelinG of beinG drenChed in hopE is loSt...

HoPe evApoRated with tiMe....

the smiLeS stiLL stAy, thE lauGhtEr stiLL hearD...

aLL froZeN frOm a yeaR agO to coVeR thE emptinEss anD miSSinG HopE.

I am happY agaIn.... I aM mE agAin...

2004-11-30T23:49:00.000+08:00

beforE I saY moRe I muZ thaNx All whO reAd my entrY.... =)
ThanX for uR encouraGemenT anD conCerN... =)
wiTh thaT frOm aLL my FreNz..... I've becOmE haPpY quickEr.... hee...

todaY haF beeN a breeZe.....
EverYthiNg weNt aS I waNt it tO... =)

I'll be singing again...
I'll be dancing again...
all after i recover from this irritating cough and block nose...
I juz pray i'll recover soon.... really need my voice back!!

Ate aloT todaY!!!!
WenT bufFeT... sinful... hee.... yummilY sinfuL!! =P

Saw a beauTifuL houSe madE of CookiEs and cream n some pastries... real hansel n gretal... hee... think i got teh spelling wrong... but as long as u and I know wat I am toking abt... hee.... really really nice....
a small cute cookie house with doves hovering over it and a SanTa sittiNg on ThE rooF....

BeinG a lightBulB is quiTe FuN too... thO noT brigHt enouGh coZ the coUplE is not reaLLy a couPle... hee... but it's enough for me to feel like a bulb... haha....

AAAAAAAcccccchhhhhOOOOO!!!!!!!

2004-11-29T14:58:00.000+08:00

SicK again... down with flu again...
This time it's so bAd... Sore throat so sore I dun feel like toking...
Luckily the cough is going off...

SO unlucKy toDaY....
woke up late.
miss the bus.
Mum cook fRied Prawns.
CellS diEd.
FreNz @ worK all noT arD.
SuPerviSor noT arD.
BluR contAct leNS.
BodY, stomach, HeaD all Ache.

I can't stand iT!!!

2004-11-24T14:41:00.000+08:00

I can't stanD it!
I am going maD with frustration.. and one way to vent my frustrations is through here... through words....

Y is the world so complicated??
Y are there always so many choices and so much decisions to make...
Y are all the decisions always so crucial??
N Y do they always come at the same time??? One week after the next????

I know my head is big but my mind is small and the capacity for stress is even smaller...

Still glad that through all ordeals I get to see who are my true friends....
who are those truly concerned for me... who are those who are just making use of me... who befriend me purely because they think I make a good friend and not with some uterior motive...

For the past months(since july),
I've been living much like a machine, programmed with a direct aim and the standard procedure of achieving the aim....
step 1: blah blah blah
step 2: blah blah blah blah...
etc...

emotions exist only in me and not shown and not felt....at all... i mean it...
stored.. somewhere deep inside... accumulating.....
n all of a sudden all emerged.... forcing their way out of me... with a strength so great I cannot withstand... (for more details on how this feels, look under

http://www.tulane.edu/~sanelson/geol204/volcan&magma.htm

I belong to the explosive eruption)

and at the end all escaped.... naught's left..... void of emotions again....

can the machine still work...?? hope it can...
but this time, void of emotions even deep inside....
the machine shall work forever... for the goal programmed....
without fear of eruption anytime soon.... for it takes time to accumulate....
hopefully this time, rate of accumulation is slow...

LIARS GET ouT!!!!!!!!!!

2004-11-24T13:09:00.000+08:00

I hate liars...
whether a lie is white or black or red or blue or yellow... it's a lie...

I just dun get why ppl lie... esp when it seems like it's for no apparent purpose nor reasons...

Selfish people lie
Timid people lie
Ugly people lie

The maSk oF thE liaR is the ugLiest
And the MAn beHinD thE maSk iS the CowarD who doeS noT dARe fACe reAlitY
With baD self EsteeM and a ReAlitY thAt is uGly becausE hE maDe it sO by hidIng iT and TarnishinG it witH lieS.....

PiTy to ThE maN behinD the mAsK....

Is a PreTtY liE moRe poWeRfuL thaN a leSS perFecT TRUTH????

A truTh is THE TRUTH and definately will be more appreciated...
A lie is A LIE and definately will be condemned....

pity to him behind he mask....
not only blades can scar.....
pity also to the one who believe the man in mask...... stupid is the world for him.. for both...

TwiSted

2004-11-23T15:45:00.000+08:00

HarD as I've tried to leave the old me behind
Yet hard as it tries now to bring myself back...

The old emotional me...

A twist in a movie is wonderful...
A twist in my life is juz twisted... =P

Crazy things I always dare not do but alot I've done these days....
MAybe it's the middle month crisis...
so many crazy decisions I've made and I know the craziest is yet to come...
Crazy decisions I may haf made but regrets are only words you can see on this blog... not to be found anywhere near me, in my mind or my heart....

Forgotten abt the past??
Yes I haf put it behind... but i realise that with my memories that i left behind are my emotions and feelings....

all are left in the unknown world... to make sure i will not be sad... i sacrifice happiness....

To dig it all out i may find sadness but hopefully the happiness comes back as well... in a manner louder n more beautiful than before....

My trust in no one (esp myself) makes me mechanical... feels like Terminator 2004 =P
Filled with logics n reasonings... just like a scientist....

life WAS peaCefUL w/o sadneSS..... or happiness....

LifE is FAiR..... It'D bEttEr B....

2004-11-09T01:31:00.000+08:00

My CellS arE growing!!!!!!!!! YiPpEeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!! =)

Hope this continues... =)

My life is really so boring... fancy getting happy over such small matters....
I really should aim higher and not just be contented that simple cells are multiplying or that I manage to keep myself occupied all the time I am awake... Or that I manage to reach home early or take pleasure in knocking off early... or be happy that my hands and legs can coordinate.... or that I do not haf backache today after exercising yesterday... or that I read another 70 pages of HarrY PorTer today.....

I really should oso make my sadness n depression more worthwhile and not be sad just becoz I can't do simple situps, or can't do a yoga move... or can't seem to be happy whenever I past coffee bean @ suntec city.... or for the fact that I am walking ard there alone most of the time.... or that my cells grew too fast... or that I haf so much to do yet still feel so empty..... I really shldn't be sad over such small matters.......

Come to think of it... my life is actually not that monotonous... I really should be glad.... there are things that I can do and things that I can't.... small n insignificant (compared to this huge world) they maybe ..... still I haf my fair share of problem and achievement...

Everything shld start small... now that I make small achievements on a personal level... who knows.... one day i'd do something that can be more significant... like how my cells grow... my person, ambitions, character shld grow like 'em.....

I loVe ThE RythUm, thE beAt, thE movEs....

2004-11-06T02:14:00.000+08:00

Juz Came back from saLSa FiesTa... really fun... dancing with guys who know how is really a different and wonderful experience...

I went into the dance room (that is less crowded than usual) standing at the beginner's corner, hoping someone will ask me for a dance.... @ the same time watching how the advance dancers shook their bodies and how the guys beautifully lead the gals into spinnings n turnings n sashaying.....

Then I start to dance... it's really nice to be dancing out of lesson time... it's really oso nice of my instructor to dance with me.... hee... think he believes that I am bad.. haha so hope to improve my steps..=P He is the best dance teacher I haf seen so far..

Really dun wan the session to stop... now, I haf to wait for another week.... huh.... so long.....

Another NeW MonTh!!!!! HoW's HallOweEn????

2004-11-03T01:23:00.000+08:00

Hmm... halloween was quite for me...

Now, my life is pretty much my own life... no commitment or watsoever... hmmm... but i dun like tt.. feel quite aimless n not challenging enough for me....

Maybe I shld start to find somemore goal to attain...
I've decided to make making money and spending it my new goal.... Hence I shall start by having another tuition job.... hee... hope this works...

come to think of it... I've been so bored tt I change my hairstyle twice in 2 weeks!!!!!!!
Hear my walleT???----------> "OuCh!!!!"

See my new hair style.....

I know it looks like the original one... well all are perm... but it's slightly different....

Oh no I feel so so so redundant...
I feel that my life now is to look for things to achieve.....
Y doesn't anyone haf any expectations of me???????

My dog juz vomitted something tt look real gross.... it was dark at where she puked(as the light's spoilt) and i can't see wat it is... well I could haf taken it to somewhere with light to examine it... but..... erm.... think sometimes avoiding the reality is good...
I really dun think i'd wan to know wat came out of her... =

Just went to the gym... din do much weights or cardio... juz attended 3 classes... one of which is yoga.... wow wow wow.... it's amazing wat they can do!! (not to mention how embarassing wat I can't do) Then I was @ this super fun Jazz dance class that I totally cannot catch up... haha... but really, tt's where the fun is... trying to catch it...

I'll be going out every day for this week... but Y am I still so unhappy????
My schedule is packed... packed with things that I arrange for myself.... but Y is it that I feel so bored?? haiz... SOMETHING IS MISSING!!!!!! I'll go find out wat............

(Wat is missing actually Mindy kNoWs..... juZ whEthEr shE waNs to BrinG the pRobLeM to LighT n sEe the tRutH n soLvE the probLeM.....)

Oh nO!!!!!!!!! Me So whiNny todaY!!!! WHining to mYseLf.... I aM the MosT pathEtic peRsoN aliVe in mY houSe!!!!!!! =P

"I sang 'You Make me Want to Fall in Love' yet when I am singing I was singing to nobody. When can I sing that to someone???"
~GueSs WhO???

BoBo's SicK!!!!!!

2004-10-22T16:50:00.000+08:00

LaptoppY's recOverEd buT mY doGgiE's siCk... =(
She can't jump!! SHe can't even stand on her hinD leGS!!!
n ShE looKs rEalLy sad..... GoinG to bRing hEr to seE a Vet on SunDaY... hope it's not cloSe!

My poor poor hypErActive DogGiE!!!

This Is bOBo wiTh BeckhAM's HaiR... hee... she's sleePy....

BoBo's ImitatIoN of theDOG.... hee...

Hope she recovers soOn!!!!!!!!!!

Does AnyOnE reAd thiS?????

2004-10-21T17:23:00.000+08:00

LookinG througH my bloG, I realise that there is no comment for any of my entries....
Maybe wat I said really needs no comment... hee... But I can't help wondering if anyone else read wat I wrote.....

Here comes the contradiction.... I am not sure if I really want anyone to read this....
Well I din really write anything... but sometimes, I'd hold back in writing 'oh blah blah is so cute... wish he'd date me....'
IF no one reads this..... then I can be free to write who I think is cute and the fact that I am free from all emotions now...

Never thot I can be free from affairs of the heart... used to think (Well abt 3 mths ago) that life would be so damn boring without someone after me or without carrying a touch for one guy or another.... seems like all that are crap....
For now, there's no one who makes my heartbeat accelerate and no one who bombard my cell phone with smses during lunchtime, dinnertime and sleeping time, I am still alive AND happily living at that!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!! Cheers to singlehood..... =)

*No sacarsism(?) intended

CraPPy mooD onCe MoRe

2004-10-11T16:33:00.000+08:00

feel like crab today... I mean Crap....
well both will do... lying ard the sand(office) enjoying the sun(UV from fluorescent) digging holes in the sand(office cubicles) hiding from predators(supervisors) and moving ard horizontally(my waist only and nowhere else).

OkiE abT mY actuaL purpoSe herE todaY....

PubliciTy agAin!!!!!!

Ge1 ShA1 Wu2 LuN4

23rd October 2004, SaturDay

1900

University Cultural Centre

7 bucks only

all frenz pls come support me..... =)

A Story about Love and Fate....

Brought together by passion of the people for singing...

The voices of us who sings LOve.......

eeeeeeeeeeeee...... mushy.... hee.... the abv speech is my personal opinion and does not represent the stand of the production team for the above mentioned event or the people involved in it....

hee.... juz proven my pt..... I am CRAPPY today...... =P

anyway.. really hope to see my frenz on the 23rd... =)

Hope the power of frendship can gif me CONFIDENCE.... =)

LapToppY in pTe CliniC

2004-10-11T16:24:00.000+08:00

My laptop's sick... sick for a long long time....
This bad owner too lazy to send it to the hospital...
But lazY ownEr meT NicE comPutEr doCtoR whO offerEd to cuRe LaptoppY....
So Now LaptoppY is in cliNiC.... undergoing treatment now... with data running thru it's intestine and brains.... cleaning up rubbIsH and replacinG thE viRuS and BacterIals witH vitaMins and NutrienTs......
HopeFullY LaptoppY will be curEd of it's Amnesia(always forget where the files are) and becOme fasteR, moRe awakE and HappIer(and noT alwaYz hanG on me!!!)

AnYwaY, LAzY ownEr trUst e DoC and thO LaptoppY's Arms maybe still be spoilt and LeGs alitTle brokeN, at leASt it shall beCome bettEr MenTally and EmotionalLy.....

I am BAcK!!!

2004-10-07T11:43:00.000+08:00

Oh wow wow... really long never been back... one mth... the same length of time that I did not write my log bk... haha...

Anyway the past month had been really exciting with so many things happening and so many new ppl to meet. Busy shuttling between singing and research lab work....

My research is getting really interesting. Hope to haf more interesting findings by the end of my IA....

Singing's great... me am a really lousy singer.... So much to improve on!! and I really did improve!! Yeah!! hee... hope this carries on and one day I'll be able to perform properly on stage.. =)

Now approaching the junction of my life, which path I take will determine my life for the next few years... so scary, so unpredictable, yet so very interesting and exciting... I like it... hee.. maybe it's because I've nothing so there's no why I can get worst....
Me like risk and yet scared of it... my heart wants to take the risk yet my head says no!!!!!!!!!

I can choose the safe path that is well paved and even haf handrails by the side... or I can take the road tt is not even a road, with grass overgrown c0vering watever lies beneath and not know wat I am going to step on until I step on it. This second road is so uncertain and so dangerously narrow, that it cannot and will not accomodate many, unlike the well paved one tt's wide and bright and welcomes all.

However the bait of unpredictability and excitement that hangs on the entrance to the less pretty road is making me hoaver. The promise of paradise beyond this stretch of unkept path also makes the decision to take the safe path harder to make......

I know wat I want..... and watever I choose will be right.... the dilemma is juz whether to believe wat I want is the right one.....

My OffICe

2004-09-08T22:29:00.000+08:00

StooooopiD computer!!!! Hmph... keep having my explorer hang! Juz typed so much of the new entry and haf it all lost...=(

Did so much work today...... never haf I been BuSier for aGes..... hee.... seemed to haF applied everything that I learnt for the past 2 months all in one day!!

Gen's fallen sick too!! Haiz... another one down... all the gals in the oFfice are ill!!! Hope that the gUys dun catch the coLd from uS!!! Take caRe guYs..... =)
Hope also that all of us will recover soon n stop talking with that very nazal voice....

This is the pic of some of my colleague... dun haf the pic of others...... but I muz say.....
I LOVE WORKIN' WITH 'EM!!!!!!! =)

So MaNy TiX to SeLL.... No pls dun run away.... wun force anyone to buy.. =P

2004-09-07T23:58:00.000+08:00

Juz realise I am really a very very poor salesperson..... cannot persuade anyone to buy
anything from me.... coz i dun like to persuade ppl.... well now really can feel the 'I am a failure in sales" feeling......

Well it's really hard to sell concerts tix to frens who dun listen to chinese songs and when my frens mostly dun listen to chinese song or are not huge fans.......haiz..... i can only return the tix i hold to the organisers.....

Had rehearsal today.... couldn't hit the high notes and cannot even hold my notes for a song this fast!!! I really hope I'll b okie soon..... else i'll haf to be stuck w the dilemma of pulling out or not...... (actually I dun tink i'll b in any dilemma.... my will to sing shld make me recover.....hahaha....=P)

Me getting really bz in office now.... very very good...hee..... at least I am starting to feel more useful again..... haha.....

SniFf SniFf

2004-09-07T01:05:00.000+08:00

=( Poor me having flu now......
Bad flu bug..... why go to work with me?? Hope I'll recover tmr morning......

Having rehearsals for the concert tmr..... n since I am toking abt concert...... lemme promote it a little..... it'll be my 1st performance!!!!!!!!!!! haha..... well it's small...... but then again it's a real concert!!!!!!w tix selling at 6.50, On Next MonDaY, 13 Sept at UCC...... Look out at this space for more updates...haha......really excited.... hope my flu disappears...hee.....
Dunno y I am promoting coz most prob I am the only one who looks at this page....haha.......

Well nice to be toking to myself and not haf ppl say that I am a mad woman....=P

Juz received a email from mu chuan... yeah! I've got into 2nd round..... but then it crashes with my salsa class..... hmm...... is there anyway I can fly from Millenia Walk to Apollo Centre in 15mins?? haiz.... yah cab..... no i am not going to spend tt money.......
Is it worth it?? Their reply to my enquiry is really rude..... really dun feel like going there.....
but i cannot take it like tt.... muz at least go there n sing then see how.....

1st it's the dishonest waitress...... then is the rude keyboardist cum singer..... haiz.....
Tink i'll suffer if i really get in.....hmm.....maybe i'll go n then reject them....juz to spite them...hahaha..... so childish......

But well I am childish......hahaha......
Rui say tt maybe that guy is juz not tt good with his English... well.... tt maybe possible.... but he's working on the front line!! and with his experience shld haf better PR skills.... I think he's juz arrogant.....

Well I know I am juz biased... haiz... =P

Nose so block..... think I will not breath very soon...... =( think I shld go sleep soon..... maybe will haf a happier Mindy tmr......
Actually today not bad.... had Genki with Gen..... hmm..... think i am becoming a glutton..haha... but if I am happy..... so be it.... =P

Fireworks to light up my life n whoever is reading this.....
Fireworks means alot to me.....
Fireworks exists at almost every critical point of my life.... coincidently... like when I was with him.......

Hmm.... getting sentimental again.... haiz.... juz me.... to b a stupid, childish, emotional gal.......

Yeah Haf PiC at lasT!!!!

2004-09-04T01:48:00.000+08:00

me finally know how to post pic!!!!!! Yeah..... this is so so fun.... hee..... =P

I'll try to learn more n do more for this page... hee.... this is the time to learn man..... since me so free these dayz.... (At least up till now... hee.... next week shld b quite bz... )

Today past quite fast... but think I am falling sick.... haiz... keep sniffing....
uploading pic is so fun... but slow...hee....
work is so slack but some how the day juz past.... maybe coz there's the weekend to look forward to or maybe the working hrs for me today is REALLY short...hee.....(was late and left early....oops..=P)

Me late not coz I wanna be late k.... the pipe in my house really burst.... and water flew out like waterfall!! (Yeah I haf a waterfall in my kitchen!!!)

Then went for a new CCA and meet new ppl..... interesting... think I shld really get a job that I can see more ppl rather than one that makes me see flasks, pipettes, cells & glass windows..... =P

Me juz found out that I cannot speak properly!!!
I'll mix Chinese with English and vice versa.... needs to improve.... cannot speak such mixed language anymore.....haha....... =)

Here's another pic.....

ThiS iS So fUn!!!!!!!!! =P

It's so obvious.... yet we do not notice....

2004-09-01T23:50:00.000+08:00

"A long time ago, there was a huge apple tree. A little boy loved to come and play around it everyday. He climbed to the tree top, ate the apples, took a nap under the shadow... He loved the tree and the tree loved to play with him. Time went by... the little boy had grown up and he no longer played around the tree everyday.
One day, the boy came back to the tree and he looked sad. "Come and play with me," the tree asked the boy. I am no longer a kid, I don't play around trees anymore." The boy replied, "I want toys. I need money to buy them."
"Sorry, but I don't have money... but you can pick all my apples and sell them. So, you will have money."
The boy was so excited. He grabbed all the apples on the tree and left happily. The boy never came back after he picked the apples. The tree was sad.
One day, the boy returned and the tree was so excited. "Come and play with me" the tree said.
I don't have time to play. I have to work for my family. We need a house for shelter. Can you help me?"
"Sorry, but I don't have a house. But you can chop off my branches to build your house."
So the boy cut all the branches of the tree and left happily. The tree was glad to see him happy but the boy never came back since then. The tree was again lonely and sad.
One hot summer day, the boy returned and the tree was delighted. "Come and play with me!" the tree said.
I am sad and getting old. I want to go sailing to relax myself. Can you give me a boat?"
"Use my trunk to build your boat. You can sail far away and be happy." So the boy cut the tree trunk to make a boat. He went sailing and never showed up for a long time.
Finally, the boy returned after he left for so many years. "Sorry, my boy. But I don't have anything for you anymore. No more apples for you... " the tree said.
"I don't have teeth to bite" the boy replied.
"No more trunk for you to climb on"
"I am too old for that now" the boy said.
"I really can't give you anything ... the only thing left is my dying roots" the tree said with tears.
"I don't need much now, just a place to rest. I am tired after all these years." The boy replied.
"Good! Old tree roots is the best place to lean on and rest. Come, Come sit down with me and rest." The boy sat down and the tree was glad and smiled with tears.......
This is a story of everyone. The tree is our parent.
When we were young, we loved to play with Mom and Dad...When we grow up, we leave them... only come to them when we need something or when we are in trouble.
No matter what, parents will always be there and give everything they could to make you happy.
You may think the boy is cruel to the tree but that's how all of us are treating our parents. Plse don't be offended. There are some cases like this. Please enlighten all your friends by forwarding this mail to them. And love your parents. "

Got this from a friend in my email....
I think many times we may take things for granted and not appreciate things done for us by our parents (or even frens... or juz anyone ard us...)

LOVE

2004-08-31T01:14:00.000+08:00

"Love is never tired of waiting;
love is kind;
love has no envy;
love has no high opinion of itself,
love has no pride;

Love's ways are ever fair,it takes no thought for itself;
it is not quickly made angry, it takes no account of evil;
It takes no pleasure in wrongdoing, but has joy in what is true;
Love has the power of undergoing all things,having faith in all things,hoping all things.

Love has no end" - Anonymous

Hmmm.... a friend sent me this.... Is love as simple as it is written here???
Is what written here simple??
If true love is as it is described here...... then, can true love be found??? ( in the romantic way)

Such kind of love I haf seen and that is from my Mum.....

action and consequences

2004-08-31T00:50:00.000+08:00

"...I do not believe in actions without consequences Sir."
-Mary Reily in "Mary Reily"

So true how true..... an action without consequences will be an action not worth doing....
An action with good consequences will then be justified to be carried out... then again.... who's to say if something's good or bad?? Good to who and bad for who??

Every action will benefit someone (usually the one carrying out the action) and harm another (whoever it can be, however distantly related)...